David McCandless

A spoof of porn sites to promote my book. Porn as women would like it. Safe for work.

Crackbook is an addictive social networking utility that gives you the impression you’re connecting with people when actually you’re just not.

(A little spoof I rustled up. Enjoy it. Oh - and see if you can find the secret pages).

My beautiful book is released today, published by Portico Books. Here’s the blurb:

“Yep, thanks to recent, incredible developments in PageTurn(tm) technology, there’s now an exciting new way to browse the Internet on the move. By book! So dump that PDA grandpa. Drown your mouse. Dropkick your iPhone into a nearby pond.
Get The Internet Now In Handy Book Form! TODAY!”

Check the website out. There are some extra funnies there.

And if you like, order it from Amazon.co.uk.

Hey man - don’t want to face the world. Don’t blame ya. It’s a big scary world world out there. Full of responsibilities, difficult situations and death. And you simply don’t want to face it. If you’d rather have kid’s toys delivered direct to your door and spend your weekends playing with remote-controlled AV technology, you’ve come to the right place!

(This is one of my favourite spoofs in the book. It was written by Joel Morris and myself, for Seethru.co.uk, about 6 years ago, right at the height of my gadget obsession. It runs to 2 pages in the book.)

Looking for love online? You could do better than visit Poormatch.com, officially the worst online personals service on the planet. Now with over 16 members!

I had the honour of being involved in the promotional run-up to Amnesty’s Secret Policeman’s Ball on October 15th. I wrote a lot of the online funnies, including a fake, in-character MySpace page for the lousy political comedy troupe, The Protect The Human Players. You can see the clips here.

The boys sharing a house on Tekken St like nothing better than playing the odd hilarious prank on each other. Check out these short (amusing) viral films wot I gone done wrote for Sony.

I bought some undu at Painsbusys to eat with my flaunaue. Why can’t my mobile spell properly?

My phone has everything: camera, polytones, triband, GRPS, internet, MP3 player. The manual is heavier than the phone, which is heavier than my wallet, now substantially emptier for having purchased it. But there is one flaw: the predictive text dictionary.

Published in The Guardian, 24 November 2005

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With an estimated five million people now connected to broadband at home, one early internet enthusiast is giving it up for good. David McCandless explains why he’s given it the boot.

Published on the BBC News Magazine, Feb 2005

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Take your pick from a range of innovative white products that simply shout “Excellent!” and “Hahahahaha!” to anyone who sees them. On you. As you walk back from the train station. At night. Alone. Oh and be sure to take out our affordable Apple Insurance.

This just in. Everything’s been solved.