David McCandless

A handful of shiny new products have been added to the SchmApple Store. They include music destruction software, Dream On Pro and the iLifeCoach.

Ten years ago, we did as we were told. If we didn’t like a dish, or a table, or a wine, and the waiter asked us if everything was alright, we’d say “Yes thank you!” in a meek voice.

Today we know what we want. We won’t stand for ignorant waiting staff, sloppy service and bad background music. In fact, we like to complain.

But complaining, like cooking, is an art. For the best results, mastery of discernment, timing and presentation is required. And, perhaps most importantly, the appropriate attitude.

See it less as complaining, more as explaining there’s a problem and giving the restaurant a chance to put things right.

Here, three leading industry insiders with the 10 most commonly encountered problems, as voted for by Olive Magazine readers, and asked them to give us a masterclass in how to handle them effectively.

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The site for my book, The Internet Now In Handy Book Form! is an official Webby Award Honouree for the 2008 Webby Awards. Woo-hoo.

A spoof of porn sites to promote my book. Porn as women would like it. Safe for work.

More here.

Crackbook is an addictive social networking utility that gives you the impression you’re connecting with people when actually you’re just not.

(A little spoof I rustled up. Enjoy it. Oh - and see if you can find the secret pages).

My beautiful book is released today, published by Portico Books. Here’s the blurb:

“Yep, thanks to recent, incredible developments in PageTurn(tm) technology, there’s now an exciting new way to browse the Internet on the move. By book! So dump that PDA grandpa. Drown your mouse. Dropkick your iPhone into a nearby pond.
Get The Internet Now In Handy Book Form! TODAY!”

Check the website out. There are some extra funnies there.

And if you like, order it from Amazon.co.uk.

I’ve been writing a weekly Podcast guide on RadioTimes.com for RSS obsessed audiofiles. Saves you trawling through the dross to find the gems. Here’s a Best Of to get you started.

Hey man - don’t want to face the world. Don’t blame ya. It’s a big scary world world out there. Full of responsibilities, difficult situations and death. And you simply don’t want to face it. If you’d rather have kid’s toys delivered direct to your door and spend your weekends playing with remote-controlled AV technology, you’ve come to the right place!

(This is one of my favourite spoofs in the book. It was written by Joel Morris and myself, for Seethru.co.uk, about 6 years ago, right at the height of my gadget obsession. It runs to 2 pages in the book.)

Looking for love online? You could do better than visit Poormatch.com, officially the worst online personals service on the planet. Now with over 16 members!

I’m writing a weekly column on the ‘Best Of YouTube’. Cherry-picked video clips with fun and some might even say, witty, commentary. Find it here. Be sure to track back through the archive. There’s some good stuff in there.

» Clips For Kids
» Best of The Simpsons
» The Best (And Worst) UFOs

Wrote the site copy for this eco-consumer site for agency AnyWhichWay. Also scripted the animation which was played at the Live Earth concert. Yeah!

I had the honour of being involved in the promotional run-up to Amnesty’s Secret Policeman’s Ball on October 15th. I wrote a lot of the online funnies, including a fake, in-character MySpace page for the lousy political comedy troupe, The Protect The Human Players. You can see the clips here.

The boys sharing a house on Tekken St like nothing better than playing the odd hilarious prank on each other. Check out these short (amusing) viral films wot I gone done wrote for Sony.

Worked with agency Grand Union to produce a full rewrite of this government eco policy site with sections aimed at both consumers and local authorities.

Wrote animation scripts, slogans and website copy for a new safety campaign for National Rail. Agency: Ammunition.

Worked with agency FCBi to create the copy, website architecture, case studies and banner ads for this international charity.

Doctors from London University have revealed details of what they believe is the largest amount of ecstasy ever consumed by a single person. Consultants from the addiction centre at St George’s Medical School, London, have published a case report of a British man estimated to have taken around 40,000 pills of MDMA, the active ingredient in ecstasy, over nine years. The heaviest previous lifetime intake on record is 2,000 pills.

The Guardian, April 2006

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Dr Albert Hofmann was an anonymous Swiss chemist - then he inadvertently created the mind-altering ‘psychedelic’ drug that would shape popular culture for generations. As he celebrates his 100th birthday, David McCandless hears about the trip of his lifetime

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I wrote the bulk of Orange’s online content from 2002-2005 with agency Poke London. That included microsites, emails, banner ads and ECRM newsletters. Much of the work garnered awards including a Webby Award, 2 BIMAs, and a One Show Silver Pencil.

Some highlights of the work.

» Orange Talking Point
» Orange Paper Films
» Orange Email Me